Psalm 37:4
Delight yourself also in the Lord,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 27:14
Wait on the Lord:
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart:
Wait, I say, on the Lord
When God speaks to you do you listen? Do you listen only if it is what you want to hear, or do you listen and obey regardless? Do you believe He knows what is best for you? Are you willing to wait for His plan to unfold or do you just take things into your own hands? God has a destiny for you. You can certainly take things into your own hands and divert from His plan, but that diversion will just simply be a detour. He will find a way to get you back on track.
Personally, I know I want to listen to God and obey Him but when things get rough or I feel like I have waited too long my mind finds a way to bring me comfort. It does this by having me look to the future, take it into my own hands and plan. Problem is that may not be God’s plan. I struggle with impatience and staying in the moment, in today. I want to know what is to come.
When I started going through my divorce I wanted to know there would be someone in my future. I visited my mother-in-law, Thelma, in the hospital shortly after my husband left. Thelma told me she had been praying and Jesus wanted her to tell me He was going to send someone to love me. He didn’t tell her when, how, who or where I would meet his person. He only said He would send someone to love me. Leaves it wide open doesn’t it.
Today at church as I tried to finagle my future by playing it out in my head I received a strong message from God. I was writing down everything I am thankful for and put the paper in my Bible. I just opened my Bible to a random part and slipped the paper in. I decided to read that page. Here are some of the messages I received from that page.
Jeremiah 2:13- For My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken Me, the Fountain of living waters, and they have hewn for themselves cisterns, broken cisterns which cannot hold water.
Psalm: unless “the Lord builds, the house, they labor in vain who built it”
“Our activity birthed out of the flesh actually prevents God from showing Himself strong in our lives.” – Joyce Meyers-Bible page 1149
From those messages I wrote this:
God wants you to leave this in His hands.
He said He is sending someone to love you, emphasis on HE IS.
You don’t need to do anything.
Leave it alone until He is ready. Go and enjoy life.
Unless my next relationship is built/sent from God it will not be the relationship I have always desired. I took things into my own hands before. I promised God, two years ago, I would not have a man come into my life that wasn’t solid in faith, had a strong relationship with Him and He approved of. This was not my decision. I need to remember this and have faith.
Perhaps the first-person God wants to send to love me is me. As I entered the month of May I felt like this was my time to be with me. This was my time to figure out what I like and enjoy about life. This was my time to fall in love with Jenny.
I don’t know what God wants for me. But I do know He wants me to understand my worth and love myself so when He does send someone to love me I can not only recognize that it is love but be able to accept that love. I struggle with letting go of figuring out who God has in store for me. I struggle with dipping into the future and not staying in the present. I struggle with listening, really listening to God. In these times listening to God isn’t easy. Sometimes I must force myself to listen to God. When everything in me is struggling to listen, I meditate on His word and praise Him.
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